What I've Accomplished in a Year

"Life can be so difficult at times, but fighting through the pain is so worth it. It's better to feel every kind of emotion than not to feel at all." -Demi Lovato

October 27th, 2015. It's a day that will be printed into my mind for the rest of my life. The emotions, the stress, the pain, everything that I was feeling still is fresh in my mind. I still cringe when I think back to it. It's a point in my life I thought I would never get to.

I thought about committing suicide and almost ended my life.

It's a topic I don't like talking about. Even to this day, I don't like to think about it. It brings back all of aspects mentioned prior that still haunt me to this day. I'm not going to go into detail what drove me to that point. Only my close friends knew the struggles I was going through. But it's the day that I marked that I would get stronger. I wasn't going to let depression and anxiety overwhelm me anymore and stop me from living my life the way I wanted to. I wanted to be happy again.

I decided to take a look back to see all that I have accomplished within a year after that night. It's a way to show myself and hopefully others that yes, it does get better when you put your mind to it.

  1. I switched my major to communication studies, finally taking charge of what I want to do with my life instead of listening to others. This is where I figured out that I wanted to go into social media/blogging.
  2. I had my first real relationship. Even though it was bad timing and didn't work out in the end, I still value everything that it taught me. It broke down my walls and showed me that I can be comfortable around someone.
  3. I turned 21 and now I can finally drink legally (thank God). Being able to go to the bars actually helped get rid of my social anxiety I was facing. I was able to go out and chat with friends and new people
  4. I have received several fellowships and scholarships to pursue my education and aid in my internship opportunities. After returning to school with a new major and mindset, I pushed to get my highest GPA at college ever. I wanted to do my best in my education, and it was reflected in these accomplishments.
  5. I pushed my Instagram to become more of an influencer. My audience is growing closer to 1,000 users with each passing day.
  6. landed an internship on my own at chikimiki, a fashion label in NYC, for this past summer as a social media intern. It wasn't the best experience, but it solidified that I was on track with what I wanted to do after I graduate.
  7. I pursued and obtained a social media internship with SUNY Oneonta on their team. It's been one of the most rewarding experiences I've had this semester.
  8. I launched my own blog to showcase my writing, photography and experiences. This is something I wanted to do since last year, but I wasn't confident in myself that I would be able to do it. I finally took the plunge this summer, and I don't regret it for the opportunities it has given me.
  9. I became Vice President of Student Fashion Society, which is the fashion organization on my campus, after being involved with them for the entirety of my college career. I took on a more involved leadership position from my previous post as Model Coordinator. With a loving executive board behind me, it was easily one of the best decisions I made.
  10. I got a new puppy, Luna, that is my pride and joy. I was a mess when my old dog passed away last November. I had gotten her the same year my dad passed away, and she helped me heal during that rough time. I was able to convince my mom to allow a new pupper into our home this summer. Luna helps with my anxiety immensely as she cuddles into me at any point of the day.
  11. I made my first big purchase and bought myself my first camera. This camera has helped me launch into my photography lifestyle as I set up shoots with friends that want headshots or photo work done of them for their individual upcoming projects.
  12. I am finishing up on my final semester with CollegeFashionista. This internship has given me so much, from summer workshops to meeting new inspiring individuals I'm proud to call my friends.
  13. I have several writing gigs lined up for the upcoming semester, such as Trendly and Festifind. I wanted to branch myself out on the type of content I could write on. Each one is a new experience I'll have under my belt for when I graduate.
  14. I kicked my butt into high gear and set up a workout schedule. I had my confidence fade away during my depression, and it reflected on my body as I lost weight and tone. My body is back in shape, and I've never felt more confident in myself.
  15. I started drawing again. It's something that took I lost inspiration for. I gained it back, even though I don't publish any of my work. It's nice to be able to channel my feelings and thoughts into art.

It's weird now writing all of this, seeing everything that has happened within a year. One night could have changed all of this. I wouldn't have been able to experience any of this, and that's not even including the memories I've shared with family, friends and the people around me. Only a portion of my life has been lived, and I'm committed to live to make sure I'm around for all of these moments.

If you ever feel low in life, please remember that there are several aspects of your life that you haven't experienced yet. If you're unhappy with your current situation, there's always something that you can do to change it. Someone is always there for you for support. Don't give up, ever.

Before I end this post, I want to thank everyone that was there to support me during my struggles. Even those that didn't know what I went through. This will be, for many of you, the first time you'll have heard me talking about this. All the kind words and support during this year helped me recover slowly. I'm still on the slow path of recovery. I will still continue to show my strong side.

October 27th, 2015, will now and forever be a day of strength for me.